How to talk about family violence

What you say when you're talking to someone about family violence will depend on how much you already know about their situation.

What to say when you don't know if someone's affected

You'll need to use your professional judgement when deciding whether to make routine inquiries of people who have not already disclosed family violence. Confidence in raising the topic of family violence improves with practice.

Although most people are likely to say they're not affected, your open, friendly comments may mean a great deal to someone who is affected, but has never been offered help. It may also help those who have concerns about their family, whānau or friends.

These conversation starters might be appropriate for your situation.

What to say when someone has been or is affected

Previously affected, but not currently experiencing

If someone has previously been affected by family violence, it's important to check whether they need any support now. Learn what you can say to someone who has experienced family violence in the past.

Currently experiencing

If someone is affected by family violence, they need to be heard, believed and helped. Learn what you can say to someone who is experiencing family violence now.

Currently perpetrating

If someone is currently using violence to harm family and wants to stop, they also need support. Learn what you can say to a perpetrator who wants help to stop.

This draft practice guide is being tested by selected generalist service providers.

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